A mother's fear
by CSMichaelis
Summary: Evian's tenth birthday has brought back memories for Ciel and He must learn to deal with his anxiety. one shot


Ciel wandered the halls of the home he shared with his mate and children. It was the third time he had gone to check on the children, though it wasn't unusual for him to peek into their rooms, tonight was different, his eldest son Evian had just celebrated his tenth birthday earlier that day.

Ciel had wanted to postpone the party, wanting to have no one near the children at all aside from the staff, himself, Sebastian and Lizzy. He had gone so far as to ask Alois and Naveen to watch over the castle from the outside with Finny and Mey-Rin. Sebastian had insisted on having the party, claiming that it wasn't fair to do so and everything would be alright.

"Young Master, are you alright?" Tanaka asked softly.

"No. I won't be until tonight is over."

"I understand. Please know that the possibility of what you fear is nonexistent. No one would dare try to take your children, Sebastian is here to protect his family and so are we."Ciel turned to him.

"My father and mother were home too, you were there, it made no difference at all. I don't want that for them. I know that it's over now but-" Tanaka embraced him.

"You went through the worst kind of trauma young Master, it doesn't simply disappear all together, the fear remains, this is normal for your situation. I assure you, should something like that happen, I will not fail again."

"You didn't. You did what you could and I'm thankful for that. I'm just glad you were okay."

"Thank you." the old man said. "I'm very grateful that you were as well. I can't describe to you the pain in my heart, believing I had lost you as well. It's going to be alright now." Tanaka released him, continuing to walk the halls. Ciel again moved toward the children's rooms. He peered inside the first.

Rowan slept peacefully in his bed, Lovey the bear held close to his chest. Ciel smiled, remaining there for only a moment before continuing on to Rachael's room.

The young princess smiled in her sleep, her tiger was held in her hand, dangling from the bed.

"You are so silly, I love you tiger." She said. Ciel turned to leave when he heard her cry out, this time in a pained voice.

"Tiger, where did you go, I miss you. You are gone!" She fretted. Ciel turned back to find the toy now on the floor. He walked in, picking it up and placing it under the cover with his daughter, softly kissing her forehead.

"Thank you Mommy, you found her, now I can tech Tiger to go in the circles. I love you Mommy, will you watch?" The sleeping child pleaded.

"Go on, I'm watching Princess." Ciel said. After a long silence, Rachel spoke again.

"Did you see, she did it mommy, she did not get stuck this time."Ciel smiled.

"I saw, she did a good job, I'll let you get back to teaching her. I love you Rachel." He said softly.

"Love you too Mommy, you are a happy thing." Ciel shook his head, the children were like their father, he found it interesting that he could hold complete conversations with them in their sleep.

Vincent was next, the child had kicked his blanket off during sleep and was now shivering.

"my poor little boy." Ciel whispered replacing the cover.

"Mommy, it is snowing again, can I please throw snowballs at dad, Finny will play too."

"Alright Vincent, go on but you tell your father he isn't allowed to hit you with any or he'll be in trouble."

"Okay, I can tell him...Dad, Mommy says you cannot hit me, you will be in trouble." Ciel waited.

"Dad says okay but you have to play too. Will you please?"

"Yes, I'll play."

"Yay!" he cried before silently returning to his dream. Ciel kissed his forehead and soon found himself in Evian's room, he was surprised to find the child still awake looking concerned.

"Evian, why aren't you asleep?" Ciel inquired moving to stand beside him.

"Because I know you feel sad Mama. I do not know why but I felt it all day, even for my birthday."

"You shouldn't let me worry you, everything's fine. You should try to get some sleep, you've had a big day today."

"Can I please stay up with you, until you are feeling better?"He pleaded.

"Evian, this isn't something that you need to think about, it's my problem and-"

"Is it because of Grandma Rachel and Grandpa Vincent going to Heaven?"Ciel sighed.

"I am big now, you can tell me Mama, I love you."Evian quickly embraced his mother.

"I know you're big now Evian, but you're still my son and I'm not going to involve you in something you don't need to be in. That isn't fair to you."

"It was not fair for you either Mama. You were not mean or bad."

"No, not then I wasn't." Ciel admitted.

"Mama, are you afraid?"

"Yes, I am. But I told you that that's not something for you to worry about. I'll be fine." Evian slid off his bed, pulling Ciel by the hand.

"Come with me Mama, I am big now, that means it is my turn to take care of you now. I am going to make you feel happy." He announced pulling his mother down the stairs and into the kitchen where they met Bard and Sebastian.

"What are you doing down here Dad, Mama wanted you to-"

"Everything's fine. I was going to come upstairs and have a talk with your mother but decided to stop and bring him some left over cake in the hopes that it would calm his nerves." Sebastian explained, Evian smiled.

"I was going to give Mama some too."

"Great minds think alike my son, how wonderful it is to see you looking after your mother. Well done." The older demon praised.

"He is my Mama, I want to help make him better, he always helps us and I feel sad when he is not happy, I am bigger now but that is the same."

"Of course Evian, that will never go away, it is part of loving your mother." Sebastian set the cake in front of his mate before cutting another piece for his son.

"Thank you Dad," Evian said happily taking a bite of cake. Ciel however, stared at the plate.

"Ciel, you know that everyone is safe, I would never allow anything to happen to our children, or to you. The people who took you are gone. They cannot harm our children nor can they take them away. You were so young to go through such horrors. It's understandable that you feel a bit on edge but the most important thing is that you know that it will never happen again. You are the mother now. You know just as I do that you are more than capable of protecting our family on your own, no matter what maybe foolish enough to try. I promise you, it will be alright."

"Part of me knows it's ridiculous, but then I think, if I ignore the feeling and something happens-"

"Poor Mama, I will tell you, we are okay, no one will come except grandmother and grandfather to check on you, Cousin Lizzy loves you too, if you ask she will stay awake. I got bigger today, I will stay with you I promise."

"I know you would, you're such a good boy. "Ciel said finally taking a bite and allowing Sebastian to wrap his arms around him.

"It will be alright Ciel. Everyone is here around us and the children are safe. Try to put your fears aside and allow me to calm you." Sebastian said beginning to nuzzle Ciel lovingly. Ciel slowly began to calm down.

"How can you be sure, I felt safe too until-"

"I am here, you are my mate, it is not just my pleasure to care for you and our children, but my responsibility as the one who helped bring them into this world. You've known me many years now, you know what I can do. If some how someone did attempt it, they may get in here, but I promise you they wouldn't get far."

"What about Angelina and Kathryn, I still-"

"I saw them not five minutes ago, both were sleeping soundly." Sebastian told him calmly.

"Would you check again, just to be sure?" Sebastian kissed his head.

"I will do as you ask, It's my hope that I can ease your mind in any possible way." He excused himself and set to his task.

:Poor Mama. We will all be here tomorrow, I Promise, I am bigger now but I still know things. I love you."

"I love you too Evian. You've grown so much."

"Yes, I used to ask for you to hold me when scary things happened and now I am with you and making you feel better like you did for us. Dad said that is very good and he said I can be taught how to do things now. That way I can protect you because you always protect us."

"It's not your job to protect me, it's still mine to look after you, it always will be even when you grow up." Evian reached over and hugged Ciel.

"I know Mama, you will always take care of us. You are the very best Mama in the whole world and I am so happy to be your son. Do you want to come and see when dad teaches me to do things?"

"I'll watch, you must be excited."

"Yes, I want to be like you and dad." Evian said with a smile. Ciel reached out and stroked his son's hair affectionately.

"As nice as that is, I'd rather didn't. I want more for you than what I was. I want you to be who you are, not try to be like anyone else."

"It is still okay to be me, even if I am bigger?" Evian asked finishing his cake.

"Always."

"Thank you Mama, you are so smart and nice."

"Mommy!" Angelina and Kathryn cried toddling into the room and over to Ciel.

"Look who I found awake in their room, they were playing on the floor." Sebastian announced.

"Hello my little ones." Ciel greeted hugging his daughters.

"Mommy...play." Angelina cried.

"No, no." Kathryn held up a book before greeting her brother.

"Enin." She cried.

"Yes, I am here sister, I love you very much." Evian replied causing the child to giggle.

"uff oo Enin" Evian grinned wrapping his arms around her.

"I love you too baby sister Kathryn." Angelina frowned.

"Uff oo Mommy uff oo" She rubbed her eyes. Ciel picked her up, allowing the child to rest her head on his shoulder.

"I love you too Angel." He said patting her back softly. Sebastian took the book.

"Perhaps it would calm everyone if we listened to a story, would like that?"

"You can't actually expect me to just sit there and listen to the story, not tonight, we still have three children asleep upstairs, I wouldn't be able to-"

"Please take the three that are awake into the sitting room, I will be along shortly." Sebastian handed him the book and left.

"Come on Evian, let's get your sisters in there, so I can see what your father's up to." Ciel sighed.

"Mama, do you thing dad will make the funny sounds when people are talking in the book?" Evian asked guiding Kathryn behind him.

"I don't know, we'll have to see."Ciel said making his way through the hall, until they came to their destination.

"I hope so, dad is very funny. But we really will be okay Mama, I know you are still sad. I will protect you and my brothers and sisters, do you want to know why?" he asked helping Kathryn onto the sofa.

"Why?" Ciel asked.

"Because I love you and them. You are my favorite family Mama. Today was a good birthday and I know it was scary for you. I want to stay with you." After a few moments, Sebastian returned followed carrying a sleeping Rowan wrapped in a blanket, still clutching Lovey. The demon prince led the royal guard members into the room, Mey-Rin and Finny carried Rachel and Vincent in. They were instructed to place the sleeping children on the carpet gently.

"What are you doing?" Ciel asked his mate.

"Today was rather hard for you, your fear is that someone will harm our children. There are true horrors in your past my love, they will not disappear over night. It's this trauma that is causing you to feel panicked and nervous. For tonight, to calm your fears, I have brought the children to you and our guards are stationed both outside and in. My Father is here now, he has very kindly taken Alois' place outside so that he may come in if you need him. To calm your fears further, no one has ever defeated my father...except for you and my mother in an argument. That being said, tomorrow, you and I will sit down together and begin working on your fears and how to ease them. It is my hope that by the time Rowan is ten, you no longer have this problem."

"I-Thank you for understanding and I'm sorry." Ciel said.

"Mama, it is alright, you are being a Mama. I know it. You are the best one." Evian settled himself next to Ciel as Sebastian began to read. Soon, Evian and Angelina were leaning on Ciel, sleeping. Ciel smiled, now feeling secure surrounded by his family. Sebastian moved closer.

"Are you feeling better my love?" He asked kissing Ciel's head.

"Yes. Thank you for this, I know it was ridiculous, I don't know how you put up with me sometimes."

"I love you more than anything in this world Ciel Michaelis, with all of your fears and anxieties, everything you are. You are precious to me. Whatever maybe upsetting you, it is in my heart to want nothing more than to calm your fears. I will always be here to do so." He nuzzled Ciel softly.

"I don't know what I'd do without you Sebastian." Ciel said quietly.

"My treasure, you will never, ever find out. My place is right here beside you and it's here I will remain for eternity." The large clock in the corner began to chime.

"You did it my love." Sebastian kissed his mate lovingly. "You made it through our son's tenth birthday and honestly I was expecting it to be much worse than it was. Well done." He praised.

Ciel smiled faintly. He would have to remember to do something special for the staff and his friends later. He would also need to thank his father in law who had stepped in to ease his fear, putting their arguments aside and being there himself rather than sending his own staff. This showed Ciel that perhaps it was time to begin to forgive the king and follow his example.


End file.
